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COVERT ABUSE

Passive-aggressive (obstructive)

Hidden (occult): fakes empathy, rescuer-savior-healer, helpfulness, altruism, compassion

Manipulative

Nonverbal

Punitive avoidance and withdrawal (to play on abandonment anxiety)

Creates secret coalitions against you, smear campaigns (hiding behind others)

Controlling

COERCIVE CONTROL

Another much misused term, like gaslighting or narcissist

Victims intimidated into altering routines, modifying behaviors

Social isolation

Life constriction

Invasive monitoring and supervision

Deprivation of needs, including basic needs

Control and micromanagement of choices, decisions, behaviors, and actions

Denial of access to communication, money, friends, family, help, succor

Terrorizing, degradation, humiliation

Multiple modalities of abuse: verbal, physical, financial, sexual

Conditioning (compliance rewarded) leads to automatism and impaired reality testing

Premeditated

Not outcome of mental illness

Some victims misperceive coercive control as love, interest, attention, insecurity.

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