Welcome to the first Epic Rap Battle of Nostalgia!
In this battle, we see two hungry comic relief characters with out of this world powers, and great affinity for their pets/best friends!

Who Won?: https://strawpoll.com/polls/X3nk6GAkLyE

If you like this battle, feel free to join the Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgia Discord Server:   / discord  


--CREDITS--
Matt Raichous as Shaggy Rogers and Ron Stoppable

Beat by S!DEK!CK
Written, Mixed, and Edited by Matt Raichous
Thumbnail by Commander Jacob


--LYRICS--
SHAGGY
Like, man, you think it’s hard to be a sidekick in the background?
Try being out on the frontlines when a monster comes around
I’ve seen millions of ghouls that make me wanna stop and vomit
Like that freaky hairless thing you like to carry in your pocket

RON
Hey! Don’t talk about Rufus when your dog is a doofus
Like Dr. Drakken, I’m ruthless, while your whole series is stupid
It’s useless to step up to the plate and face off with the Fearless Ferret
I saved the world from invasion, while you’re disappointing your parents
An iron stomach that couldn’t handle my naco
You’re not a hero, dude, I know it’s hard to swallow
But when all you do is follow, and never speak your mind
It’s like you’re in denial of the role you were assigned

SHAGGY
You think you’re, like, funny, but buddy, you’re witless
Your jokes are, like, ham-Fisted Monkey business
Nothing you do could be seen as comedic
Except for, like, anytime you get defeated
You live up to your name, Ron, cuz, like, you’re Stoppable
You’re never a threat, like, the weakest I’ve met, like, at best, like, you’re maybe an obstacle

RON
Can you think of anything other than to tell me I’m unfunny?
At least my jokes had a budget, you were eating all of your money
Your bars are redundant, just like your animation recycling

SHAGGY
I’ve held strong for decades, one movie sent you spiraling
Your Disney Channel live action got some really poor reactions
Used to be crafted with passion, now there's not even a fraction
Just dollar signs in the eyes of the guys behind the scenes
As your franchise loses everything by pandering to teens
You’re incompetent, Ron, you only ever win by accident
Give up and be a villain, that’s the only time you’re adequate
An actuary masochist, who just can’t seem to take a hint
Pathetic as a hero, like, your sister is a better fit
Go back to camp Wannaweep for a better chance at survival
Like, man, I’ve Gottagrin knowing you won’t get a revival
Tangled in your mangled plotlines, like, it's gotta be painful
To put in all that effort, just to have your pants around your ankles

RON
Woah, dude, chill out, ‘cause you shouldn’t bring up losses
When you have four movies that all failed to make a profit
You’re still a stinkin’ hippie, when it’s rough, you get running
Looks like military schooling just wasn’t worth your parents’ money
Fifty years later, you’ve still got the same show, pacing and plotlines, and even the same jokes
How does the saying go? Don’t fix what ain’t broke, too bad your franchise is stale like it’s bread, though
This Mad Dog’s Barkin orders, cuz you’re baked and couldn’t make it
And you’re puffing out your chest, but the viewers know you’re faking
While the audience still loves me two decades later
The only one who loved you was an alien invader
And later, when you’re rebooted for the fifteenth time
The made up legends of your legacy are getting left behind

SHAGGY
All that strength, and you still need your girlfriend to defend you you
No matter what you do, you’re a buffoon in the end, dude
Mock me for my running, I’ll prove you’re the bigger coward

RON
And how’re you gonna do that?

SHAGGY
With one percent of my power!
Going Super Shag when I’m fast on the track
Try to roast me but everything you say falls flat
Can’t match my flow, like, you’re going too slow
Wanna go toe to toe getting dragged through your show
You fell into my trap, man, like, you’re the live bait
Let’s unmask this hungry horror and put an L on his plate

RON
Alright, we get it, bro, you’re fast, but that’s not always a good thing
No wonder Velma stopped shagging with you and kept looking
Now, you crossed the finish line, but you’re still the biggest loser
After all, brochacho, I’m Un-Stoppable! Booyah!